Veteran’s Day was this past week as it always is on 11 November, each year. Veteran’s Day this year was especially meaningful to me as I did a special “Reveal” of a shadow box that I created in honor of my grandfather who served in World War II. You can check out the short presentation at https://fb.watch/9hsy6nEW0h/. Many viewed, commented and otherwise expressed their appreciation for the presentation for which, I am grateful.
My wife also posted an expression of Veteran’s Day gratitude that included a picture of the two of us. And while the kind words and expressions were humbling and appreciated in response to her post, I noted that they were all directed towards me. I wholeheartedly understand that Veteran’s Day recognizes the service and sacrifice of those who wear and have worn our nation’s uniform. However, I cannot emphasize enough the sacrifices that spouse’s make as well. My wife used a picture in which I was wearing my dress uniform. All of my medals and awards that I had received up until then indeed represent service and sacrifice. My wife has no medals or ribbons that recognize her sacrifice over the years. This is not a complaint, merely a statement of fact. And with that, I want to honor my wife’s service to our country in my blog today.
For those not in the military it is hard to fathom the experience of separation from your loved one for the duration of a deployment. By the way, my first deployment was 10 months. The images portrayed in the media often reflect the ecstatic nature of the homecoming welcome as Service members are united with their loved ones after returning home. And while those are indeed wonderful moments and occasions, they represent so much more than just a “happy ending” to a period of extended separation. There are no pictures on the front end of that deployment that show the tears and the pain of separation as it sets in as the Service member steps onto a plane. The uncertainties of whether or not their loved one will come home. Children who have no concept of what is happening and ask at dinner on the first night, “When will Daddy be home?” The spouse, who is now functioning as a single-parent, and who has no idea how to answer those questions on the first day or on day 100.
Aside from combat deployments, which is what many think of in terms of military service, there are many other separations. For many Service members, TDY (Temporary Duty) separates families from anywhere to a few days to a few months. Training exercises, military schooling, and a myriad of other occasions can send Service members away for any length of time at literally a moments notice. I have had the privilege to be a part of some unique training opportunities, also TDY which is government funded, that is well beyond what I could afford if it were not for the military. And I have been blessed to have traveled many places and do a variety of things as part of my responsibilities as a Chaplain. A few years ago I had the privilege to go TDY to Jordan, and even had the chance to baptize service members in the Jordan River! But in all of my travels and trainings, there has been one constant, my dear wife has been at home caring for our home and children. Every time. There have been no breaks from that responsibility. There have been no days off. There has been no recognition for her dedication and support.
In addition to the “normal” routine as a military spouse, my wife has had the extra responsibility of raising a special needs child. The additional challenges that have come with raising Kaydan have required her to go above and beyond the normal demands of being a military spouse. People often say, “I don’t know how you do it.” To be fair, my wife does not know how she does it either. In fact, there have been countless times that she has said to me, “I can’t do this.” But she does. She drives on. She pushes through. And for that, I am more grateful than I can express. She may be the proverbial unsung hero to some, but she certainly IS my hero.
People will often say to me, particularly when I am in uniform, “Thank you for your service.” I am honored and grateful for such expressions of thanks. But I challenge you with this: The next time you see a military spouse, I challenge you to thank them for their service. And especially, if you see a military spouse that also has a special needs child! For those of you that know my dear wife Lori, please express that sentiment to her!
Thanks as always for your support. And Happy Thanksgiving to all! See you next month.
Brad